Continuing with the new blog concept not so well thought out in the previous post, here is the first page from what would have been the Dark Purple UFOs comic.  I’ll be using these characters to create brief and entirely senseless dialogs to post up here giong forward.  I’ll probably make up a few other character pairs in the future, and will perhaps even continually make up new characters as I need them for some particularly odd topics.  This concept seems to hint at the first real promise for a site format that might last.  At least until the end of the year anyway.

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Edrik: “We don’t need all that science and logic nonsense that you are so keen on – we have magic.  Magic can solve all problems eventually, if applied properly.”

Kyr: “Magic provides us with no greater understanding of nature, nor ourselves.  Science can help us to see and comprehend the natural laws that govern our world and our very existence.”

Edrik: ”And magic can help us overthrow those laws and free us from their oppressive ways, making room for all the really dangerously exciting stuff we can talk about at parties.”

Kyr: ”We could discuss strange results derived from obscure mathematical equations and debate curious theoretical interpretations of bold and profound philosophical theorems.”

E: “It seems inside your mind the word exciting was mugged and beat to death by two ruffians named Boredonius and Dullard.”

K: “I do not expect your limited mind to see the possibilities of my work and the profound impact it could have on this whole kingdom.”

E: ”All right, so then how can science greatly improve our lives?  Honestly, I do not care to understand my existence and I crave no deeper meaning to it all.  I have reason and meaning enough to drink and smack my girlfriend’s bottom and that my good fellow is as deep as this mind needs to go.”

K: ”There is limitless potential for practical applications of scientific research.  Perhaps we could find ways to increase the food supply by getting plants to grow bigger, or improve the quality of our food.”

E: ”Improve the quality?  How?”

K: ”Well there you go, actually, first we need to establish just what is of better quality.  We would need to start by examining the different types of food and determining what properties each one has that make it different from the others.  From there maybe we could figure out which ones taste better, stay fresh longer, or might help us to live longer.”

E: ”But how can you tell if a certain kind of food makes a person live longer?  You would have to live longer than them just to accurately make your first measurement.”

K: ”I could start the research and train those younger than me to carry it on.  All we would need is to establish a common system or approach that could be applied over and over again in a consistent manner.”

E: ”And someday, generations from now we might be able to create some sort of highly advanced form of cow that produces life extending milk.”

K: ”Well, I was thinking of plants.  I’m not sure how much we can change a cow.  Unless we devise some mechanical apparatus that can be incorporated into its milk generating system.  Some form of sophisticated udder upgrader.”

E: ”Ugh, I hate when you start rolling out all that technical gibberish.”

K: ”Perhaps we could attach nozzles to the udder that transmute the milk into some other drink.”

E: ”An ale cow!  Oh man, suddenly this science business has a future!”

K: ”No!  That’s not what I meant.  I’m not saying it isn’t a fine goal to shoot for, I have no quarrel with increasing the availability of good ale, but somehow that just doesn’t seem right…”

E: ”I’ll bet magic could create an Ale Cow.”

K: ”You’re not going to let this go, are you?  Then ask your girlfriend to make one.”

E: ”She won’t use her powers like that, at least not for me.  She takes all the new regulations so seriously.”

K: ”At least she has some sense left.  Although, another application of these methods would also be to study magic itself, objectively, to see if there are limits to it or to find out if it has long term side effects on the person who uses it.  And, determine if there are actually long term effects on our world.”

E: ”Like what?”

K: ”Perhaps using too much magic all the time is heating up the ground all throughout the kingdom, and someday will kill off all the plant life.”

E: ”I’ve heard of that theory, from somewhere.  Must be another theory dreamed up by one of your crack pot friends.”

K: ”It’s not as silly an idea as you might think actually.”

E: ”Like an Ale Cow?”

…

K: ”Obviously my quest to enlighten you is a hopeless cause.”

E: ”If only you could demonstrate the power of this way of thinking.  I am a simple man Kyr, I need visual proof, tanglible results.  Show me the goods and I’ll buy your wares but no bananas means no sale.”

K: ”Why do you persist in talking that way?”

E: ”You’re the one bringing udder ugrading apparatuses into our polite conversation…”

K: ”Ok, you have a point there.”

This blog is indeed worthless.  It exists yet has no meaning, no purpose.  Take the last post I tossed up here.  Pointless, boring, and of no interest to anyone but me.  Seems this post is heading in the same direction, but what can be done about it?  I need to turn this place into something, as I seem to have a strangely powerful need to keep it going despite it being such a persistent failure of less than epic proportions.  It’s not even a colossal failure, or a memorable flop, just a dull and altogether forgettable experience.  If it weren’t for a handful of people hot-linking to some of the images in my gallery this site would be completely invisible to everyone on the Internet.  I suppose invisibility is some sort of an achievement, though in this particular context not exactly what one strives for.

I’ve tried to make short flash movies and cannot seem to stay with any of them long enough to complete something of substance, something of value, or something more than 60 seconds long.  I posted one such failed attempt to the site here.  I tried to make an online comic, made it about 4 pages in and gave up.  I’ve tried to make this place a gallery for my artwork but the simple reality is that no one is very much impressed with my artwork.  I don’t blame them, it’s just good enough not to be considered totally lame and yet no less forgettable for that.  I’m just good enough at a few things to be not quite able to deliver anything worthwhile.

Yet, I’m quite determined to fail, fail again and fail some more.  I’m a particularly persistent loser I am.

Well, I have some made up characters in this game I’m making (yes, back to that again) that I suppose I could use to make some occasional bits of forgettable content and write it off as providing background for the game’s story, which is pretty lightweight and predictable and not in need of back story, but what the hell.

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Pickles: “If existence has no meaning then how can anything that exists have any meaning within its existence?”

Glittershorts: “To exist just means something is there, something is real, or something is on.  Like the snack machine in the break room, it exists, but its existence is not what, by itself, gives it meaning or purpose.  My cravings for tapioca covered popcorn balls on a stick give it meaning.”

Pickles: “So it has meaning the moment it begins to exist, or only after your inexplicable tastes give you a reason to make use of it?  And does anything that does not serve some useful purpose to someone else, or something else, truly exist?”

Glittershorts: “Not sure I follow.  For the first part it has some meaning from the beginning, just not to me.  Actually it may even have meaning then, such as to make me feel sad and unsatisfied with the poor selection of snack options on this ship.  But even if I had no need of a snack machine at all – a simple impossibility granted, but for the sake of conversation – it would certainly still exist, just not have meaning for me.”

Pickles: “Though I suppose it would have meaning to some one, or would have potential meaning.  Sort of like, it has active meaning to you when your stomach is growling loud enough to be heard over the Commander’s snoring, but passive meaning to me since I’m on a strict booze and Vitaminiacal Powder diet.”

Glittershorts: “Makes as much sense as any of our conversations ever do.  So we agree that the snack machine does not spontaneously unexist whenever I’m full?”

Pickles: “I will tentatively accept your hypothesis for now but will continue to observe this phenomenon for more concrete evidence of its persistence to stay existed.  For example, as an experiment, let’s quadruple all of the prices and see if ceases to exists in the minds and appetites of the crew.”

Glittershorts: “It will always exist in my mind, even after I realize I can’t afford anything in it and break into it in a fit of sugar withdrawal induced fury.”

Pickles: “Did I somehow just successfully argue that the snack machine has more potential than I do?”

Glittershorts: “I’m pretty sure that was already a given.”

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And we’re off!  (Center, the Mark, or simply Off)

I am the first to admit I start far too many projects and finish entirely too few, and then write about them anyway.  I offer a service here, one that teaches young peoples not to be like me.  The most recent (or at least the most often written about) project of mine is this little Flash game I’ve been working on.  The curious thing is, I’m still working on it and can actually say I’m more than halfway finished.  While this is hardly a promise I will in fact deliver this game completed and relatively stable to the uncaring masses of web slackers, it is significantly more progress than I have made on most of my projects.

The images in this post are part of the backgrounds from the third level of the game.  The game itself is shaping up to be 4 stages long with perhaps 5 boss fights (2 back to back at the end).  Not a terribly lengthy endeavor, but hopefully just long enough to be satisfying for a free game you clicked on because you were bored.

The most enjoyable aspect of this process so far has been illustrating the backgrounds and the enemies and most especially the explosions.  Many of my failed projects over the years have been directly related to my inability to find anything worthwhile to do with my marginal artistic skills.  I have attempted a few comics, starting working on a couple of animated short films, and have been trying to sell original paintings or prints of them for years now.  All of those efforts were basically for nothing as the projects went nowhere or if they were somehow miraculously completed were altogether ignored by the world, though admittedly with good reason.

This project will likely suffer the same fate as the others, as I really do not see any compelling reason to believe it will bubble up and garner any significant attention from the rabid Internet viewing hordes.  If it actually does get completed I will submit it to sites like Newgrounds, Kongregate, Armor Games, etc, so perhaps a few people will click on it and play it and then crap all over it in the comments sections below it.  Assuming I finish it.  Some day.

In the previous post I mentioned a post from an older blog of mine that had attempted to cover the same topic, or at least begin to approach it.  As misfortune would have it the post was not lost after all, and so now here it is to be puzzled over and frowned at:

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Where am I?  I am on top of a chair, adjacent to a desk, underneath the sky and thankfully a long way from the Sun.  This last detail does not necessarily imply that it is not hot where I am, but rather it is not as hot as it could be and that I am thankful for this fact.

Do you know where I am?  No?  I am within the borders of a country, I am not over the ocean or a lake, but I am above the Earth’s surface.

Eight details as to my position and yet you could be sitting right next to me and have absolutely no idea where I am.

This bit of pointless thinking led me down a new dark alley that apparently I had, until recently, been wise enough to ignore.  Where is my mind?  I know where my brain is of course, and will probably always have a fair idea of where to find that spongy clump of synapses.  But the question is, where is my mind?  And where is your mind?  And can our minds get together for imaginary coffee on the corner of Contemplation Avenue and Philosophical Boulevard?

My mind is to the right of anarchy and to the left of “The Dark One Whose Name We All Forgot Because We All Kept Telling Each Other To Never Say His Name”.  It is above breaking wind in an elevator and beneath picking my nose in public.  It is against censorship and for well edited blogs.  Do you know where my mind is?

Had I the ability to suspend this unfortunate habit of growing old then perhaps I could sit here, in this physical position, and map out quite clearly my mental coordinates.  Or could I?  The issue remains that I must make statements that define how the position of my mind relates to an idea or thought or color, which themselves are defined by how they relate to other thoughts and colorful ideas.  And should I be successful in determining without any doubt precisely how my mind relates to one idea, it may not be an idea your mind relates to at all and thus is of no help in determining how our minds relate to each other.

Where am I?  Can you relate?

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How deep does this putrid pit of profound ponderings go?  There is no telling, but aren’t we all so glad the Internet was invented so people like me could share such nonsense with all you sensible surfers?  And the best news is, I’ve found several more posts from that old blog that are just as insightful and worthy of your time and I will be sharing them soon.